Sweet surrender

Me and suprises don't get along so well.
Everytime someone close to me tries to plan a suprise for me, it usually blows up in their faces.
I have this problom, that is hard for me to control. The truth is that I never really tried to deal with it.
All of my early memories of suprises were quite painfull. If it was a suprise beating from my parents, or a suprise attempt at incest, or a suprise gang rape.
I hate suprises to this day. I have the reputation of being unsuprisable. I always ruin the suprise somehow or someway.
I have to. I have no other choice. In my mind, if I can control the suprise and be prepared, then I have less of a chance of getting hurt.
The only problom with my theory is that I end up hurting those who are closest to me.
I would love to be a bitch and say better them than me, but that isn't the case.
It's always the same story with these things. The biggest suprise is that of the well wisher. They all have the same reaction. Suprise and hurt.
Sorry.