Memoirs of a cheating sex-addict

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-2068-i-am-professional-submissive-sex-dungeon.html

It's been 6-7 years since we met, in a sea of boring girls I found L, gorgeous, smart, confident, use to getting her way (especially with men) and with very clear limits, that, in retrospect must have sealed the deal, slowly, pulling, smearing and finally just ignoring those limits one by one was a journey that we took together and it was one hell of a ride.

To be clear, I am very faithful, in my own way, it may not seem it, but my wife has always come first, and while I've always been close, even loving to my partners, it was never a competition, home always came first, and after that friend; and funny as it is to say, I've slept with most of my closest friends, L is a great example, I cared, and will probably always care about her, and I never meant to hurt her, even if I think I ultimately did, more than once, for that reason I will try to be carful with details regarding her life.

It was different this time around, we talked, and flirted, and decided to meet, but she felt she was too good for this kind of bullshit, who did I think she was,how did she think I was.
So I tried something new, I gave her all the power, let her set the rules, and control everything, every so often watching for a moment of weakness and pushing her past her (current) limit, to a place she never believed she'd go, we did this dance over and over, from a kiss to a fuck, and each time she'd come up and take my hand for another dance that we both bullshited ourselves into thinking she was leading. I won't go into details, her story is her own, but we went through a lot of hard times together, and it made our relationship something special, we talked, we texted, we touched and we fucked like crazy, and we always lay there, both dripping and relaxed, and we hugged and cuddled, it was always so, polar.

We fucked, and kept fucking, for a long time, here and there, for a while, and one day I was on my way home when she texted me about a guy she started talking to online, he was a "Dom", i heard the title before, but wasn't quite keyed into exactly what it entailed, i mean I've always been dominant in bed, how different was it... and she told me about him, in retrospect she was just being a great sub and getting me to do what she wanted and make me feel like it was my idea; she poked, and tried to hurt my confidence by telling me its "not for me" and, she managed to hit a soft spot, because my voice went very cold, and very even, its the voice i still get today, and I told her to shut up, go take a shower, get dressed, no need for panties, just a skirt... and be ready for my text, once she gets it she'll have 20 minutes to be here, waiting in an alley near my house, do you understand?

It took her nearly 20 seconds until she snapped back to the conversation, her reply was a very soft "yes", "good, just don't be late" and i hung up.
My erection could have killed someone at this point, I took this girl, who had never been told to do a thing without arguing, manipulating, or using any tool in her considerable arsenal to get her way, and I made her bend to my will in such an absolute way.

I made an excuse about going out for a walk, I remember i still had what i wore to work on when I left, it was a black T-shirt and a black leather jacket, she picked me up and she tried going right back to our chatty banter by laughing at the fact i thought black leather was what BDSM was about, I turned to her put a hand on her leg and explained that she was to drive to where i told her, and be quite on the way.
I told her I hope she remembered to lose the panties, and i stuck a finger in to check, she was wetter then I've ever seen her, and this was the first time i touched her, we got to a small road out of the way, and i tormented the poor girl for about an hour, not letting her move her eyes without my say so, not letting her near my dick and only touching her enough to leave her in a state of confusion and perpetual horniness.
We fucked eventually, it was rough and she was hypnotized, like she wasn't there, just obeying and overjoyed to do so, she didn't orgasm, at this point she had never orgasm with anyone yet, that eventualy changed with me, which made us even closer.
She felt absolute lose of self was and found it intoxicating, and i was starting to form a habit myself, I had never known this kind of power even with "the Tourist"; this beautiful, young, successful girl wanted me to let her touch me, this girl whose body screamed to turn around and just look at me, but who couldn't, because i had said so, and the thought of disobeying was unbearable to her.

I remember how overwhelmingly content she looked when i finally came in her mouth, she was so proud of herself, so happy, it made it all the better to see her this way, I hugged her and told her what a good girl she was and she was so proud, so proud she did as she was told, and that I was happy with her, I even showed her how much by shooting what felt like a shot glass worth of cum into her mouth and told her to swallow.

Our relationship continued, we where together for 3 years I think, and during that time she only had one other man, and that was pretty late in the relationship, and it ended badly for her, it felt like her life was on pause, for me, very thrilling and empowering, but ultimately... it felt wrong.

About once a week, I'd have time and I'd let her know, her schedule would shift around me, and I wouldn't have much time, so she'd get messages like "30 minutes from now, showered, naked on your knees, with that blindfold I got you, don't lock the door", sure enough 30 minutes later she'd be waiting, next to her bed, scared shitless that someone else walked in off the street, but not daring to ask or to peek...

finally, it started to simmer down, I felt bad, and kept saying it, and it made her feel... unattractive I guess, that was never my intent, but I'm glad she moved on, last we talked she had someone and she sounded as if she was happy, I don't know if it was for my benefit or not, but I hope its true.
On our last visit I had reserves (again) and I managed to get out in the evening and sleep in her place, my first time doing something that reckless, it was fun, but sadly, I wore her out far too quickly and her promises of waking me up at night and my "fun alarm clock" turned to her passing out at 22:00 and only waking up while I was in uniform, giving her what would probably be our last kiss...

I had a taste of something new, after marrying young, and it was fast and hard, and it pumped my ego to levels I hadn't know up to this point, and I wanted more; I went online and started looking, I wasn't sure what I was looking for, and to be honest with myself I wasn't sure I really wanted it.

It took me a long time to make a move, and I found very few girls looking for an anonymous married man, that may have been due to the fact I was looking in dating (type) apps, I wasn't looking to meet, not really, I was confused and worried, and was hoping for another girl to fall in my lap.

I actually met, and had sex with 2-3 girls who didn't mind just fucking for no reason; I must say I'm suprised at how good a girl who will meet a married stranger, to have sex in public looks; I met girls in public bathrooms, parks, and places of employment, and it was fun, but it was never something I was interested in keeping...

It was me being self destructive and stupid, and trying to get back that feeling of ego and control.

I talked to a girl from the north, she was younger, around 23, I remember thinking shes so much younger, I don't think that now, since I meet a younger girl semi-regularly, but at the time, she was young, sexual and ready to go, a real freak, but there was no way I could, between work and home, there just wasn't a way I could travel back ad forth and be with her, so we chatted and teased and showed off to one another...

I was on a chat with some girl all the time, several at once, at times, and I was feeling how I was spiraling out of control, doing too much too fast...

So I stopped.
I said my goodbyes to everyone, the girl online included, and I still keep a screenshot of one of her last messages, "There a tight collage pussy dying to have you inside it, and you're saying no?", I sucked...

That's was the start of 4-5 "dry months" in which i was moody, angry, depressed... I was a junky without a fix, and it took forever for the symptoms to die down, a little, but I was ok.

I don't remember what set me off, but I started again, but after talking to a few girls who I didn't find interesting, and honestly I think meeting a girl or two for a quick meaningless fuck, I met L, the girl who changed my direction sexually, and taught me so much about myself, and in a way, my first...

After I met my "tourist" I was on a new kind of high, I haven't done too many drugs in my life, but I'd found my drug of choice, control; and here I was with this tiny Asian girl, with a tiny Asian pussy, and even tinier ass that could barely handle me, she liked it rough, and she liked me doing as I pleased, and I was too happy to oblige as long as she came over and over for me.

i didn't need the second time before she left, but I knew I'd never see her again, so, might as well... I was rougher and the look in her eyes when I gave her commands was like an IV of the purest shit you've ever seen, I remember asking her over chat how she was the next day and she said that "sitting is the most divine pain" and thanked me, I was content...

it it was a few months later that I got a message that she's coming back for a few more days, and when would be the best time for me, this happened 4 more times over the next 2-2.5 years... If you listened very carefully, you could hear the sound of my ego inflating.

For the first time in my life, I'm writing down a real record of my misgivings, its hard, it's scraping a lot of sensitive areas, and I'm hoping it's therapeutic; if you like what you read, give me a like, or better yet comment, and I might keep it up...

I don’t remember exactly, you’ll get use to that, but it started about a decade, decade and a half ago, when I was chatting with a very sexually repressed Japanese American librarian, no I’m not making this up, and we started “cyber-sexing”, and “camming”, oh to be a pioneer again, when after a few weeks (again, I think, the further back the fuzzier) she told me she’ll be visiting Israel for a few days on vacation next month.

I told “the Tourist”, as I later called her when discussing this even, I don’t think I’ll be able to see her, since I was doing my military reserves that time, but as it turned out, I had a pretty lax schedule, and I managed to drop by her hotel and I remember slipping my ring into my wallet, more afraid that she’ll look for my wife to tell her that I’m cheating than her not wanting to fuck a married guy, obviously she knew I was in a serious relationship, since I lived with someone, it turns out she was married and had a kid herself, but we never talked about it, I just got a mail from her husband later on.

So there I am, a young(er) married man, in full uniform, meeting an Asian librarian with a sex drive bordering my own, meeting outside her hotel, on the bench overlooking the ocean, and what do we do… talk Pokémon of course.
It was kind of cute, we both wanted to, but both of us where chicken, we just couldn’t do it, so we sat there an hour, and chatted, it was kind of sweet, and eventually I made and excuse and gave her a kiss on the cheek and left.

It was a few hours later that I got a message from her, you got to remember these are olden days, where anonymous communication like Yahoo-chat hadn’t reached phones yet, and I could only see it on my PC, which was in the middle of our studio apartment, where I lived with my wife, and where I masturbated on camera with other women.
The message was “I wanted you to fuck me so much”, and I asked why she didn’t say anything, oh sweet innocent early 2000s me.

The next day I managed to get out of the army pretty early again and I met her on the same spot, we talked a few minutes before I told we’re going up to her room, I could see the blood rush everywhere, she went red at the thought of this man in dusty uniform and army boots telling her to get up and head for her room, and it hit me, she wanted this even more than I did, and this was going to happen, it was too late to rethink it, too late to take a step back and look at the big picture, or how it was going to affect my life, it was already a done deal.

She was very shy about the clerk seeing us, and I remember how nervous she was about being seen going up to her room with a strange man, she was turned on, anxious, her whole body screamed out for someone to help her relax, and the second we got into the elevator, I did.
I’d only touched two girls in my life at this point, and pushing her up to the wall and kissing her, while my hand traveled up her skirt and moved her panties to find her very wet hole seemed so natural, she moaned in the elevator and it made me feel like a god, there was nothing I couldn’t do with her.

We got into the room, and in seconds a strange woman had her mouth around my cock like it was the only thing keeping her alive, only stopping to tell me how amazing I am, how she’s wanted this so long, I pushed her down, undressed her, pulled and pushed, and she was so happy to be my plaything, it was like a drug was being pumped into my veins, and it would be years before I really understood it.

I kept pushing limits with her, first eating her out, then sticking a finger in her, feeling what a drenched pussy feels like, probably for the first time in my life, I think it was after she came for the first time that I stuck another finger in her ass, but I’m not sure, from there we did a marathon run of every sexual position I could imagine, feeling her orgasm over and over, taking brakes to eat her out and spank her when I felt I was getting close, I think it was over 2.5 hours before I covered her face in cum for the first time, and another 30 before the second time.
I loved it, not only the sex, it was… well orgasmic, but the awe and the shook in her eyes, how unbelievable sex cold be, how losing control was giving her more of a vacation than a hundred days lounging by the pool, o the Tel-Aviv beach, I was hooked, but I didn’t know it yet.