Story of the bee

Pain slut reflects on bdsm post Oct 7th

We are all in collective pain and the world is not getting any less painful.

As someone who finds the mix of pain and pleasure my desire to engage in this submissive activity has changed

My need is still there

But

To get me to this place has altered dramatically. 

To get me to this place means I need to be seen and heard. 

Telling me you are going to beat me without showing any acts of kindness is not listening or thinking. Its abuse. 

In order to understand you i have to see your actions. Words are cheap. Actions are priceless.

I find it hard to believe that people do not follow through and act according their own words. I try to see the best in folks but I wonder if I ask too much of people. 

Here is a public service announcement.

If you want a sub remember as a dom its your responsibility to make sure she feels safe.

If she does not feel safe you know you did something wrong

If she is not enjoying what you offer..stop.

If you are told to stop this is a chance to make her feel better 

If you cant see that you did something wrong you are an abuser and not a dom.

If they say they are going to cherish you

They will

If they say they are going to hurt you

They will

He did

It hurts still

Sometimes we are listen with deaf ears that leads us into the dark. 

Today i am a shell. I have no emotions. I have nothing to give. No thoughts. Nothing

Im not trying.

This is not a pity me post.

As i reflect on my kinky self and how i get to that point of submission. Submission is an active choice for me and it means alot as it takes alot to put me in that position

It comes from deep in me. 

If i give it im an empty shell waiting to be filled. Yes. I want your cock to fill my holes

I want to feel it in my throat. I want to feel ypur hand print on my ass. I want to ache from your body pounding into mine. I want to dream that deep desire. I want to hear you surpress a moan as your cock enters my pussy. You grab hold of me and know just what i need,desire and deserve.

But its more than that.

You have to fill my mind with wonder and wit. You can only fill an empty space and so i have to become a shell for you.

A place you can inhabit. A space you call yours.

In this current climate im an empty shell

I care deeply

Yet I lost the ability to feel.

I cried for those kidnapped

Yet I lost the ability to feel.

My heart breaks for the loss of lives

Yet I lost the ability to feel.

I rage over the murders at the festival

Yet I lost the ability to feel.

I weep when i think of our soldiers

Yet i lost the ability to feel

Im an empty shell

On autopilot

I automatically react

When you ask me

I will come through

Im here

For you.

Ask me how i am

Ill recite platitudes

No emotion

No attitude.

Ill do

Therefore I am.

At what price

Ive not lived here long and yet i keep being asked why did i move here. Why did i leave a green and pleasant land for this one.

It just feels like home. Even now with all that is happening. Home.

Im not sentimental

I do not do nostalgia

Im rather down to earth and practical.

Yet

I got to thinking im here but at what price.

My sons will not be called to reserve duty as they were injured during active service

A price paid.

We have had many lone soldiers over our doorstep. A family away from parents. Its wonderful knowing them. 

But its been frought with tears and heartbreak. Two are dead. Two are on our borders. Two are waiting to be called. 

The price rises.

Life is priceless.

The value i place on each one is above rubies,pearls and diamonds.

Im priviledged to live among people who feel the same. 

We have seen what that means these past days.

Our collective grief and our collective anger and our collective fear will hold us together. 

Not me

But we. The coming together. Mutual support. These are the reasons i stay. 

Are you dominant because I am submissive.

If so does it make me dominant.

Are you domininant because you control without trying. What does that look like?

Do you command great respect when you enter a room. Is your presence felt wherever you go. 

Or are you quiet. Generally understated yet with a few chosen words you have the eyes and ears of all within 100 metres.

Charisma is what it is. Its just there. Its wonderful that moment you know. That undefined essense that will make me want to submit.

I love cock. Im a cock whore. Im a cumslut. 

Its a truth universally acknowledged that a cock slut in possesion of a cock must be in search of another cock

If you know what inspired the quote you get a prize

What inspired these thoughts is someone posted a load of cock pics. Most of them were uncut cocks.

It got me thinking about cocks.

I do like to sit on a cock and ride it. I love being on my back and being pounded..especially if my legs are tied and spread..i cant get enough of being face down and ass up....When im immobilized and fucked....oh boy

I like a cock in my ass too. Sometimes i like to feel my ass open and let it take the cock..other times i like it rough and primal.

I like two cocks at once...two in my pussy...or one in my ass and the other in my pussy. 

Most of all i like a dick in my mouth.

When im on my knees and your cock is on my tongue thats where the fun begins

As i start to suck your precum and take your cock deeper into my throat...yes please.

I enjoy using my hands too. I also like my hands tied behind my back so i just use my mouth.

Lie me down and fuck my throat and im in cumslut heavan...

I love it when you cum in my mouth...

You get the picture.

I have had cut and uncut cocks

But looking at those pictures made me realise i much prefer those circumcised cocks.

I grew up outside of this land and so my formative cocks were a mixed bag. But now i think id be disappointed if the owner was not cut

Would i refuse to suck a cock with its foreskin in tact? There's a question.

Love in the long term

There is no disguising the fact that having a fully active sex life has meant my marriage is still in tact.

Plenty of stuff could have broken us. You know life is full of the unexcpected but the intimacy we share is the icing on our cake.

Over the years i have met many people who are surprised the flames of passion still run high in my house.

Ive been asked isnt it a bit boring and the same. 

Are people really asking 

So ive been thinking 

Do you get bored of your favourite food? No. Take pizza for example. You can buy different brands. Or make it yourself..experiment with toppings( no pineapple) Make a different base...change the cheese. Or go out to a restaurant or fly to Italy and get it there. Its great to share with your partner. 

Its still pizza.

You still love it in all forms.

Sometimes its nice to share with someone else.

Someone else might even show you a calazone or a square one..

Still pizza

Bur if someone has shared there calazone you can show your partner the joys of the folded pizza.

But back to sex...did you ever stop thinking about it. Me neither....

My husband is really enjoying his lady friend. To be honest the sex between us is better than ever. 

Having other partners brings our relationship together in many ways. We have to be more attentive to each other or who knows ...For us our sex life has more depth and flavour when we share our pizza with other partners.

Its not easy to explain but after 30 years, having sex many times a week it will be similar. But we are comforted by the familiar. 

If anyone has any tips for pizza making..from base to sauce to cheese to toppings let me know. Im always ready to listen

I was going to ask which is the best pizza in Israel...where is the best pizza takeaway...but you are ahead of me.

Happy munching

Conversations at the water cooler

I work in an office. Conversations flow as you know from the pleasant to the banal. We are a diverse group from all over the globe. 

When you see the same group of people everyday people say the most random of things.

Today was a classic

Someone said they thought people in open marriages were greedy, disgusting and no better than people who cheat on thier partners. This person wouldn't let it lie. They went on and on about it. 

Im quite mouthy but i could not say anything to out myself.

Am I a coward for not standing up for myself

Its my choice to be in an open marriage and why are you judging a lifestyle you know nothing about. Who are these miserable people who critisise. 

There is a part of me that would love to tell people about some of the wonderful dates ive had and the deliciously kinky scenes ive played out.

When my husband or I play with someone we tell each other where we are going. We dont share details. We ensure each other is safe and happy. It adds another layer of communication and care between us.

My husband knows i enjoy pain, restraints and humilation. He doesnt understand it but is happy im satisfied.

Perhaps if the gossips round the water cooler knew some of the kinks i have they would not think it was a deviant thing to be tied to the bed post and beg to be fisted.

Im a nice girl so it must be ok. 

Maybe if they saw me bent over being throat fucked with an anal hook inserted that was tied to my collar and to another hook in the ceiling they would see its alot of fun.

My one comment was its best not to judge.

Truth is i would not out myself. 

In my head i thought you uptight cunt you are probably frigid, shit in bed and boring.

I hate being misjudged.

My other thought was...you have no idea how much fun this kinky life I lead is.

I do not need to defend  my kinky life

I just live it

I just love it

We kinksters rock

Will those real Doms please stand up

And all the subs are ass up face down.

Right.

This is a musings post. As the wise Borat said....

Cultural learnings of Israel for make benefit glorious nation of kinkdom. Now im from the United Kinkdom. Ive been here long enough to learn.

Disclaimer...I do love this country for all its faults and I know its not the Uk.

Im not sure what ive learnt but here we go.

I came here with my own unique kink journey. For decades i had the same kink partner. I did not need or crave anyone else. I thought my journey was done when i moved here especially as he is there.

Turns out you cant turn your kink button off. It sits in your brain and you need to indulge in your kink as desire and need. eats at you. I was here 7 months before i took the plunge and looked for ways find it. It being a new kink journey.

I had to use the internet and websites as we are in an era that means we cant function without an online presence. Oh boy. Its not Kinksas Dorothy.

The kinkernet is a bizarre place. I dont have to tell you that people can and do role play online. 

Ive come across all sorts of weird and wonderful people. Some amazing genuine kinksters who ive enjoyed chatting too and have enjoyed playing with. 

But

Big but here

Wow are there some people who are not all thet say they are.

You out yourselves. 

If i did a PHD in Masters you would recognise the cast of characters the internet has allowed them to become.

The young dom. He is 25 and can dominate me with all his years of experience. Id rather here him say...i have strong desires that im enjoying exploring please let me explore with you.

The one in an open marriage. Its so open he forgot to tell his wife.

The most domly of doms. He has so many subs he does not know what to do.He will dominate you in every hole before moving on to the next avaliable hole. Little boy lost. 

The caring dom. He will take care of all my needs but lacks any emotional intelligence in real terms. He will fill all my gaps with his mind. Satisfaction comes and goes.

The saviour dom. He will save me and make me complete. Flash....ahhhh..He saves everyone. He does so much for so many and yet so few give to him. 

The unique dom. Im not like the others. Good. Are you like you? What is you? 

The dom who will let me live all my fantasies. Well ive lived alot of mine. Some great..some were not for me. I dont have a bucket list to tick off. What have you done for me lately.

There are many categories of subs too but we are beautiful people and all the Doms out there can write posts about us.

Im off down the yellow brick road. Anyone fancy showing me how to put one foot in front of another.

To all the doms ive offended...ooops i did it again.

To all those doms still standing...spank em hard..Rawhide..

I write this with a smile and thank the many philosophers ive quoted..Janet Jackson, John Cooper Clarke, Winston Churchill, Britney Spears, Blues Brothers, Elton John,Borat,Little Bo Peep, Freddie Mercury, Judy Garland. Im going to eat some M and Ms.