I have a fear of living
so frightfully wrong,
that whole years of my life are worth less
(but never worthless, of course).
To discover that
since I started dating,
I've been, almost consistently,
giving myself away
to the highest bidder -
that I've been
that I've floated through life
Rationalizing out of my fucking mind.
Because I know what it feels like to be loved.
But I don't remember how to love.