tedy98

נשלט

מרכז

32

בנישואים פתוחים

Oh boy, it's been a while since I've had to write about myself for these sorts of places, but here goes nothing! Hey there, thanks for stopping by. I hope your day's going well, and that you remember to drink enough water. It’s a bit nerve-wracking to write about myself like this, balancing the anxiety of forgetting important things with the worry of sharing too much with online strangers. A weird combo, for sure! This is a fair warning that it might be a bit of a long post, but I hope you find it interesting. Feel free to reach out if you think it might spark a conversation or connection. ☺️

A bit about me, updated for today:

Recently, I tried defining myself with just five words. Here's what I came up with:

Israeli – Born and raised, though I had a brief stint in the States growing up (hence the English). I think and feel in Hebrew. These are challenging times, and I think the current situation has definitely brought this to the forefront. 🇮🇱
Curious – I find so many different things, people, and concepts interesting. Did you know the decimal system (counting 1, 2, 3... 10) has only been popular for about 1000 years? Crazy! 🔟
Nice – For reasons unclear to me, it's really important for me to be kind and nice to those around me. Even more so, I find it important that people perceive me as a nice person. 😇
Persistent – I mostly find meaning in long-lasting habits and rituals. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve got a 1000-day streak in Duolingo. 🦉
Weird – Sometimes "special" feels like a better word. I definitely have my share of strange quirks, but maybe I should keep a few cards closer to my chest. 🫣

Some more things I think are worth mentioning:

I speak, read, and write in 5 languages (Hebrew, English, French, Arabic, Spanish). Currently learning Russian! Language, in general, is a huge part of who I am and how I think.

I'm an avid podcast listener. I usually tune into Hard Talk (BBC), The Daily (NYTimes), Haaretz Hashavua, The Conflicted Series, and The Spanko Podcast. Got any recommendations? I'd love to check them out!

I deal with depression. I’m both medicated and in therapy. I'd say I'm relatively high-functioning; it's rare for me to just sit around all day, but I do have my pessimistic tendencies.

Things I know improve my mood are eating healthy, drinking enough water, exercising, and showering. Petting a cute dog helps too! Even though I know these things, it doesn’t always mean I follow through. Perhaps this is something a prospective future Daddy/Mommy/Mentor/Dom/Domme could help with.

I work in tech, and while it feels almost trivially true for most people around me, I genuinely find my job fascinating. I'm constantly thinking about and contemplating technical problems and languages – both spoken and programming.

I'm in a loving, committed open vanilla relationship. My partner and I have been living together for 7 years, and I adore her. She's fully aware of my presence here and consents to me meeting others. I understand this might be a limit for some, and I respect that, but she's a constant in my life.

I try to make it a habit to pet every dog I see when I'm out walking. I really do try to ask the owners first. Even if I'm in a hurry, it’s my private version of "don't forget to stop and smell the roses."

I’m still exploring the full depth of what it means for me to be a little/middle/bottom/mentee. There are feelings and desires that keep surfacing, drawing me in this direction, but I haven't fully let my "freak flag" fly in a truly understanding and loving environment. Sometimes I crave being coddled, but other times the very thought makes me emotional. It feels difficult to explore these feelings with just anyone, as anyone who’s ever had a non-vanilla thought probably knows.

אני middle בתוך הקונטקסט של CGL/DDLB/MDLB. למי שלא מכיר, להיות "middle" עבורי אומר שאני נמצא איפשהו בין להיות "little" לבין להיות "adult". טינייג׳ר כזה. רגשית והתנהגותית, זה אומר שאני יכול לנוע בין הרצון להיות מטופל ולהיות תלוי, כמו ילד, ובין היכולת להיות עצמאי ואחראי, כמו מבוגר. אני יכול להרגיש צורך בהכוונה ומשמעת, אבל גם להיות מסוגל לקחת אחריות ולפעול באופן בוגר. זה איזון עדין, והוא מאפשר לי לנוע בין מצבי תודעה שונים בהתאם לסיטואציה ולצורך.

I'm a shy little/middle. Sex and sexuality are important to me, even if I don't always know how to talk about or express myself sexually. Playfulness and curiosity are huge parts of what attracts me to this. The mindset of enjoying "childish" things, like cartoons, coloring, pajamas, and games – it’s about escaping the adult world.

I also want to be clear: I am a spanko – I genuinely seek receiving spankings. For me, this almost isn't about sexual pleasure; I also find that pain can be a powerful tool for self-improvement and personal development. So, while it definitely has a sexual component, it can also be a disciplinary tool to help me achieve goals or reinforce positive behaviors.

All the usuals: permanent markings, animals, anything illegal to the point of criminal jail time, dividing by zero, etc. My partner is aware of my presence on this site and fully consents to me exploring connections here, but our relationship is a constant, and that’s a boundary I won’t cross.

just continuing to navigate life as best I can.

18 ביוני 2012