אדומה

זה קורה לי ממש מעט, כמעט אף פעם, שנופל עליי מצב רוח קיצוני שבולם אותי במקום ולא נותן לי לזוז ימינה שמאלה אלא רק במעגלים סביב עצמי, מה שמאוד מעצבן.

אני מרגישה שבגוף שלי יש כדור פינג פונג שנזרק פנימה באיזשהו שלב ועכשיו bounces off the walls of my body.

I think it is related to work, or more specific, to my unhappiness at work, because I am truly unhappy.

I find myself being inpatient, restless about everything.

I'm not rude to anyone, it is completely internal but annoying as hell.

Thoughts of food entered my brain, but luckily I quickly recognized them as not being real, I will still feel the same after eating, so why do it in the first place?

Thus, I decided to write. Not sure it's helping, have to wait and see...

I'm trying to see if music can help, since I have no patience to watch shows or movies. I can't even watch Jon Stewart (which I respect deeply), without stopping every minute to remind myself that I am not angry at what he says but at smth inside me.

Maybe I feel cornered, it always has a bad effect on me.

Tomorrow I will be in TLV, maybe it will calm me down a bit. I don't like being so restless and bitchy to myself. I even prefer not to talk to people, in case I snap.

I think I'll start with a good night's sleep and take it from there.

Gym tomorrow morning, and maybe I'll get to TLV early and go to the port for a walk.

Maybe get myself smth tasty, like seafood smth.

Tov, enough talking to myself. Maybe a book will help get my mind ready for bed

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