אדומה

So we are on a break.

I can understand, but cannot promise that I want the break to end in my favour, or in his favour, or actually, in our favour.

I'm not sure at all that he is the man for me, and that I am what he needs.

We are taking a break, which he initiated, but that I made him initiate.

It is so amazing how you get used to sharing your life with a person, even if it has only been a few months and before that you were by yourself for so long. Now that we have a decision to make, and I am taking my time as well, I have options of what to do with my life. I can turn it around 180 degrees, join ISIS or even the Peace Corp (well, I don't have a US citizenship for that, so maybe India instead).

Next month I am finishing my job, finishing the rent and can go and do virtually anything. Money is an issue, of course, but it is not impossible. I can always teach English somewhere. I'm not bound to a place or person, just to myself, which sometimes is plenty. It's like I have a road that splits into several and then several again, and so on and so forth. Yes, he has his decision to make, but will I be influenced by his decision, or make my own while he contemplates?

Maybe India is a good idea for a while, to clear my head, to not speak if I don't feel like it, to take time for myself, because I can.

On a different note, I ran the 10K yesterday in the Jerusalem marathon. It was exhilarating, so many people, with a common goal, positive atmosphere and beautiful views. It was fun to run through Jerusalem, through the Old City, ups and downs. It was difficult as hell, but amazingly fulfilling. I will do it again, no doubt about it. I will try the half Marathon, if I work hard enough for it.

Running for my next adventure :)